In 1 Corinthians 5:11-21, Paul summarizes the mission of the church to be one of reconciliation. We help people find reconciliation in their relationship with God and we also help people find reconciliation in their broken relationships. Reconciliation puts us at the heart of the message of God as we live in a sin-scarred and divided world. Reconciliation takes community and is our witness to the work of Christ in the church for the world to see. Reconciliation is the act of peacemaking where the Gospel enters the space between two people in conflict. The practice of reconciliation is less concerned with establishing lines of who is right and who is wrong in a conflict to then proclaim someone victorious, though there are times when there is a person wronged by another. Most strained relationships are less about who is right and who is wrong but about broken communication, assumed intentions, and unmet expectations.
Reconciliation creates space to bring people together to hear one another in mutual submission to seek common relationship again. This can be a difficult and even messy process, but it is the work of the gospel in the world. The church should be the natural place where reconciliation happens. Those who have already been reconciled to God through Jesus Christ should have their minds bent toward helping others find reconciliation in their lives. This is the embodiment of Christ’s ministry in the world.
When Jesus offered blessings to those who sat to hear his sermon on the Mount (Mt. 5), he blesses the “peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” If you want to be called a child of God, you will be a person who makes peace. This is an active call. We are not called to be “peaceful” people in our demeanor alone, but to actively pursue bringing peace where there is no peace.
As we approach this practice, there are some key principles to being about the ministry of reconciliation. First, we must be quick to listen (slow to speak, slow to become angry – James 1:19-20). Listening is the bedrock of reconciliation. Listening allows us to understand the other person’s viewpoint to the best of our abilities even if we do not agree. Listening makes a person feel seen and heard to where they are validated in their struggle. Listening helps us be present to God’s presence in the other person’s life. Second, we reconciliation takes mutual submission. Each person must lower themselves to the other for the sake of relationship. The person who has more power has the greater responsibility to make steps toward submission. This is the model in Philippians 2:1-11.
When we are in conflict, we tend to be hesitant to take the position of listening or submission because we do not want to be bullied. We enter a spiral of talking over one another because we want to make sure our voices are heard rather than taking time to listen to the other. Who should be the first one to listen? We always want the other person to go first. In principle, the person with the most power should take responsibility to make steps of submission and listening. Power takes on different forms and it takes some soul searching to recognize where you have advantages over the other person. We will explore this theme in the weeks to come.
I need to give a brief disclaimer about what I’ve talked about thus far. The practice of reconciliation is not cookie cutter in its approach. These are principles that need to be considered in the practice and Matthew 18:15-20 provides a guide as well. There are different kinds of conflict between people, and it is important that approaches are adapted based on situations. Cases of trauma and abuse need different approaches than cases of difference of opinion and miscommunication. The spectrum of reconciliation needs a spectrum of approaches.
How are these played out in the circles of our lives?
Should Christians get involved in the world of conflict to help people groups find reconciliation?
What hesitation do you have about this practice?
As we engage the world around us, we are called to be peacemakers and create space for listening and understanding. Sometimes this means setting aside the desire to determine who is right and who is wrong to create space where anger and fear can be laid aside to seek deeper relationship and allow the Holy Spirit to bring about conviction and reconciliation.